Spouse support how?

Question
Todd,

I am married to an alcholic who quit drinking 3 weeks ago due to liver damage and other related health issue do to drinking. He is on medications perscribed by his doctor. He is taking chlordiazepoxide, naltrexone,wellbutrin, and B-1. He also takes zegerid for his stomach and flexeril for his back.  He is 38. Now for my questions, 1. He sleeps hours at a time. Is this normal. He's very irritated and takes it out on his family verbally or will not talk at all. He's gained 20 lbs but needed it. He not interested romance. He so depressed and I feel lost because I just don't know how to help. I'm supportive and have been walking on eggshells. FYI we've only been married a

month. I have been looking all over the Internet for info on what spouses can do. Also he wants nothing to do with AA or any counceling. His life was very difficult but he is trying to make himself better. Please help !

Thanks,

Desperate wife


Answer

Beverley Glazer MA. IC

Hi Sally,



Your husband is on quite a few medications that can make him tired and lethargic. If this persists, his doctor should be consulted and perhaps have his medication adjusted. Making these adjustments is not uncommon, because all of us react differently to medication. Quite probably the medication is also affecting his performance in the bedroom as well. This should also be discussed with his physician.



Right now your husband doesn't feel like the person he used to be.  He's demoralized and angry (mostly at himself) for getting in this situation, but he's not venting his anger appropriately. Going to AA meetings and following the 12 steps would be very helpful to work through his feelings and certainly counseling would help, but since he won't go, there's nothing you can do. He has chosen to work this out on his own.



Don't 'walk on glass' to prevent his moods. If he tries to involve you in an argument, don't get into it. If you haven't already done so, go to Alanon. The members can be very supportive and helpful because they're all in similar situations. Surround yourself with positive people.  You need  peace of mind during this emotional adjustment.



Be kind, supportive and encouraging but don't feel sorry for him. What's done is done. If you project this attitude, he's more likely get out of his negativity. The goal is to move forward to a new and more normal life. All this takes time.



I hope this information is helpful,

Thank you for asking AllExperts



Best wishes,



Bev

http://www.untwist-your-thinking.ccom