recovery

Question
After a 2 yr drinking problem that came to a head when my sister moved in w/ me- and after grave concern- tried intervention that was not successful in getting her to go for treatment. The intervention co-insided with her finally recognizing ( after many family confrontations, cry sessions, matter fact sessions) she had problem. Started AA - left returned and now recv'd first token 30 days clean. Just got message she is about to get 2nd for 60 day. Problem: the consequences for not going were amongst others - we need 90 days to deal w/ disappointment for not going, time for helping ourselves. Is it to soon to resume 2 way communication, to see her. ( We have been supportive through letters but not responded to her calls- she thinks we don't want anything to do with her which could not be further from the truth. The fact is we miss her. But the interventionist says go the 90 days. But then what after the 90 days?


Answer
Ginny,



I would say communication with her

is desirable so she knows you support

her in her attempt to recover.



I do not suggest you allow her to

manipulate the plan for her sobriety.

By this I mean only support her in

her recovery, not in letting her

quit or change any plans that

were previously arranged.



It is most important for her to

maintain her sobriety. This means

she can not cope with any demands

or arguments for any reason.

Refusing contact may contribute

more to her resenting you and

this can be detrimental to her

staying sober.



She has to be responsible for

her sobriety so even though

she may be on shaky ground right

now I still think she would

appreciate your caring

but not your indulgence.



I am not totally aware of the

circumstances of the intervention

so it may be wise to take counsel

first from the intervention counsellor.

I am just advising you from

my experience and my humanity

in general.



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