Help for my daughter

Question
My daughter is 3 months pregnant and her husband is an alcoholic.  He parties in to  the wee hours - sometimes at home and my daughter can't sleep.  She calls me crying as this is going on because he is very mean to her and calls her a lot of bad names.  How can I help her?  She does go to Alanon 1x week but it doesn't seem like enough.  I am heartsick over this.  I personally want her to tell him to leave until he gets help.  This can't be good for the unborn child either!


Answer
First I am sorry that this is happening to your daughter, it must be scary for both her and yourself.



First things first, Alanon 1x week is not nearly enough, right now she should be going at least 3x week if not more.  If she drives she can find other meetings close by and start attending as many as she can.  One meeting a week is not enough for right now, she needs more support, more meetings.



Second, she needs a sponsor from Alanon, she needs to be able to talk to someone(aside from yourself) that she can turn to who has experience in these matters.  Someone who will give her the right guidance.



I believe she should move out, but the question is does she have a place to stay?  Also, is he physically abusive to her as well, she might need to speak to someone at a shelter for abused women.  



Her priorities right now are the baby and her sanity.  I only suggest she leave because he as an alcoholic cannot be changed until he's ready if he ever becomes ready, but she can change her life for the better and it starts with baby steps, plus she has to think of the babies health as well as her own.  Stress is no good for pregnant mothers.



I ask if you can offer her temporary shelter?  Will this make him mad?  Is she ready to leave him?  What does she want to do?



You might consider going to Alanon yourself to get a better idea of how to handle these situations and since he's your son-in-law you have a right to attend the meetings.



Please feel free to contact me if you have answers to any of my questions or if you need more assistance.



Robyn