Father in Law,an addict

Question
My father in law has been into drinking since many ages,i personally have spoken to him about this,and he had left drinking for almost 3 months,now has taken up again,My husband has given up on him totally,i guess thats because he has been dealing with an alcoholic throughout his life,he has nothing for his own father except despair and frustration,My mil is not adequately equipped to deal with this situation ,except mocking at my FIL,How do i convince my family not to lose faith in my FIL,and to inform them thats its a desease ,which has to be dealt with medically,they sumhow fail to understand this.


Answer
Sherin,



Hi, I know it must very difficult to

watch your father-in-law continue

to harm himself by abusing alcohol.



Alcoholism is hard to understand as

it affects a person in so many ways.



The alcoholic has a strange twist of

mind that causes him to deny or

be blind to the damage drinking

is causing him. He only has the

craving to drink which is supported

by his alcoholic thinking.



To properly treat this illness the

alcoholic has to first stop or

abstain from alcohol and

then be willing to retrain his

way of thinking and living.

This is a hard thing to do when

you cannot or will not get outside help.

An alcohol treatment center can help

to address these things. Long term

involvement in Alcoholics Anonymous

is recommended for an ongoing recovery.



The proof of alcoholic drinking as

an illness lies in the negative affects

it has on people and the change

in that person in recovery.



Many of the behaviours that alcoholics

exhibit are similar yet after

a few months of recovery that

person often returns to better

sanity and starts to think and

react like a "normal" person.

This is amazing to witness.



The catch is that your father-in-law

must want to stop drinking

before any program can really

do much good.



The best the family can do is

conduct an organized intervention

to help him see how badly drinking affects his

family. A trained counsellor should

be present for this.



It is time for your family to stop

the anger, teasing, apathy and

acceptance of his behaviour.



This is a deadly illness and

will shorten his life for sure.

Stop accepting or helping him to

act this way.



When you either sit back and accept

or scold and tease or make it easy

for him to get alcohol and drink it,

you are enabling him. You are

helping him to stay the same with

no apparent bad consequences.



That being said he is the one

fully responsible for his recovery.



None of you can start or stop

a powerful addictive illness

ultimitely. This would be like

saying you could stop cancer

or any other serious illness.

But you can try to get someone

help even if they don't like it.



You can see what is happening to him,

he cannot due to the addictive

illness and it's effects.

You can try to wake him up but

do not feel that you have failed

if you try. All you can do is try,

the results belong to a higher power.



If you try and fail that is still

to be commended.

Always take good care of yourself

so this illness does not spread

it's negative effects any farther.



I wish you much good whatever

you decide to do. Please

talk to a counsellor or Al-Anon

before any drastic actions

in regard to your father-in-law's

alcoholic illness.



Namaste'