dealing with a drunk/high significate other

Question
Hello. My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 5 years now, and we have had our share of issues. First problem that has occurred is my boyfriend's addiction to porn. It went for a long time as a cover up %26 I soon learned that he had been spending hundreds of dollars of our rent money on these things. Also, now being that it is accessible on the new phone technologies he has ordered things of this nature on his phone as well.  Not only did it knock down my self confidence but it caused a lot of trust issues regarding our finances. He also use to never really go out much after work and in the past year he has been going out quite often and drinking until he becomes very drunk. Not in an aggressive way, but in an obnoxious way. He was also recently re-introduced to smoking marijuana on a daily basis. I have told him that it bothers me, and have asked him to at least cut back a number of times. Nothing seems to work. And I am aware that these things have been developed as an addiction. I have bought him books, had talks, and he has attempted to go to an AA or SA meeting however, he has not been to a single one. He's a great loving and affectionate guy, but I can no longer look past all of these issues. I truly value the relationship we have between us, we get along great and hardly fight, but I don't know how much more of this I can take. He use to be a passionate guy who was trying to develop his career as a singer, and now I feel as though he has lost sight of his dreams. I have tried to motivate him and have also helped in pitching in my efforts of helping him write a resume and get a team behind him to help as well. He seems to have lost his motivation to do just about anything. His parents have also been asking him to step up to his responsibilities, but he just seems to push them aside. I don't know what else can be done. Please help. I'm starting to lose myself into wondering if I'm really happy anymore or not.  


Answer
Dear K,



Dealing withn an addicted  partner is not easy. You have to be careful that you are not enabling him to continue to behave as he is. Addictive behaviour can be destructive not only to the person himself, but to the family or relationships.



So far conventional treatment has not been very successful. This is because most rehabilitation facilities ignore the underlying biochemical factors that control addiction. A person should be able to overcome his addition if he understands the underlying mechanism of addition. Most addicted people are hypoglycemic that needs to be treated before anything else. Please let him read:



Why Alcoholics Drink? at

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/WAD.html



Alcoholism (Addiction) is a Treatable Disease at:

http://curezone.com/upload/PDF/Articles/jurplesman/alcoholism_treatable.pdf



Drug Addiction is a Nutritional Disorder at:

http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/drug_addictions_nutritional_disorder.htm...



The first step in treatment is going on a hypoglycemic diet. If problems persist, it is best to consult a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychologist.



I also suggest that he read my book "Getting off the Hook" which is freely available on the internet.

_______________________________________________

Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychologist

Hon. Editor of

The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.

www.hypoglycemia.asn.au

Author of "Getting off the Hook"

Freely available at Google Book Search

Skype: jurplesman