dealing with alcoholic relative

Question
This afternoon call from  police-close, profoundly deaf relative in jail again "obstructing and fighting w/police, arraignment A.M., $10,000 cash bond. I went to p.u. parked car, left in bar pkg.lot. I think I got it  in terms of "not enabling," but wonder if I really, really have to let her "hit bottom" when "hitting bottom," means she will probably be raped/killed on the streets. 40 yrs. of this, got her into detox once for 6 weeks. She has no intention of stopping drinking,wants to die. Appeciate insight, thanks.


Answer
Hello Mary,

I regret the delay in responding to your question. I have been ill. It's never too late to try to get an alcoholic into treatment. You never know when the individual might have a moment of clarity in which she might be open to help. Of course, avoiding enabling does not mean allowing a person to suffer death. I am wondering if you might have some leverage to force this woman into treatment in order to avoid incarceration. If you can, I would suggest talking with her attorney and/or the prosecutor in her case to try to condition any probation on her getting treatment and staying sober. I also suggest you consider attending meetings of Al-Anon: http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/. In Al-Anon you can find support from others who have been in relationships with an alcoholic. Good luck.

Jan Edward Williams, MS, JD, LCADC

http://www.alcoholdrugsos.com