Alcoholic Husband

Question
I have been married for 26 years and my husband and I used to drink casually off and on socially for the first 16 years or so of our marriage. In the last 10 years I decided for health reasons to quit and he agreed as well. After several occasions of bringing alcohol in the house, I asked him not to have it in the house. Well now he goes and sneaks out to drink real hard stuff and a lot of it, like a pint of Gin or Whiskey 3 times a week.

Does he have a serious problem with it, if he agreed to quit as well and still hides his drinking?


Answer
Hi Terri,



It looks as though your husband may have a drinking problem.  Not only is he hiding it but he's drinking large amounts so chances are your husband is an alcoholic.  However, he's the only one who can help himself, if he doesn't want help through a doctor or Alcoholics Anonymous there is nothing you can do to help him.  What you can do is help yourself.  It is hard to live with an actively drinking alcoholic, but there are tools out there for you on how to better cope and how not to be an enabler, which many spouses of alcoholics end up being willingly or not.  Sometimes you're not even aware of the behavior while it's happening.  Therefore I suggest you try attending some Alanon meetings, it will give you a new perspective on living with your husband and his drinking problem.  They will give you support, tools and friendship.  I suggest you keep going to meetings until you find one that makes you want to keep going to it.  It's not always easy, but the people in Alanon have a lot in common with you so please give them a chance.   They will help you deal with your husbands drinking and show you how to have peace of mind.



If you have any more questions please write me back and I'll be happy to answer them for you.



Robyn