alcoholic gf that im worrying about after leaving her

Question
Hello



my names Steven. i don't even know where to begin so i will give you a abbreviated version of my story. my girlfriend and i have been dating for 4 years. we lived together of 2 of those. our first date i never thought anything of it. we went and saw a movie and she was acting immature throughout the whole movie. i just figured it was from drinks at dinner and didn't think anything of it. weeks down the road every time and i mean every time i came to her house or she came to  mine (before we moved in together) she was always falling in deep sleeps. i figured she was my sleeping beauty and just always tired from work. she worked for a school with kids at a time.  this progressed and got worse. this went on for months. so about almost a year in i started to take her water bottles and smell them and they were straight vodka. theres my answer,i always had an idea she was drinking. she was filling empty water bottles with straight vodka. everyday she passed out. blacked out cold every say, Mon-sun. everytime she came over or came over, she would get drunk beyond believe. she would pass out like i said at our parents home, at the park, on dates, everywhere, you name it. fast wording now, this went on forever. i didn't understand why she drank. i always tried to talk to her and here her out. now this kept going on and then down the road i found out she was starting herself. this whole time she was on a 250 to 300 calorie a day diet by eating negative calorie foods. she was also throwing up and covered , i mean covered in bruises. so things got worse. she was also talking and hanging out with her ex fiance in order to get money for booze since i wouldn't give her money.  down the road i found out she was on a website going on dates for 500 bucks a date with wealthy guys. she swore nothing sexual. fast forwarding 2 yrs down the road i got her to stop the dating service. she was kicked out of her home and we moved in together. the drinking got worse and she wanted to escort again and be a webcam model. she has no self esteem and hated herself i could tell. long story short, this went out forever. 4 years later she had me arrested. she called her dad whom is a cop after downing almost a gallon of vodka and he told him i was hitting her in reaction to when i told her we had to break up. the father came and i was arrested and bailed out next morning. we went to court, fought them and when because the judge has known her prior history with drinking since her recent and first DUI and spent 30 days at hanley hazelden. so after that, our parents didn't want us talking and we ended up talking of course and we both got kicked out of our parents home and moved back in together even after what she had done to me. at this point i was going to codependent meetings and i knew i had a problem and was suffering due to her addiction. we lived together for 5 months and finally up until last night i said i cant do this anymore after she promised not to get drunk and she did. she even pop the screen out of the window and threatened to jump. so at the point i called my dad, he came over to help me packed, i cried and asked my girlfriend to get help and i told her i loved her and this is hard for me and its taking me 4 years to finally leave and well i did. NOW HERES MY QUESTION....i am at home at my parents house and i had 7 missed calls this morning. i called the # back this morning and it was St Mary's hospital. she was hospitalized last night , the night i left. i spoke to her and i couldn't tell what happened exactly cause she still sounded drunk and this is what i got from her. she said someone called the cops on her and she was taken away in the ambulance. my guess is she was roaming around the island we used to live on and someone called and they could tell she was extremely drunk. well she begged for me to pick her up and take her to the apartment but i know i cant and i wont. for the first time in my life i wont. plus if i go back to her my parents said there done with me. so what do i do? she told me her parents wont help her and she doesn't have a cell phone or a car or money so i feel terrible because i still love her and i know shes scared. to be honest i was so nice on the phone and im the only one talking to her now and she was just mad because i left her last night and i wont give her my laptop to use as communication . so im home now and i have no intention to helping her. this is the first time i did this, i left and ended the torment. it took me 4 years. what do i do, how do i feel, help me please.


Answer
Ok you need help, I hate using such a stock answer as suggesting Alanon but it's clearly the first step you need to make and I mean tonight, today, right now at this moment after you read my note, you find a meeting, once there you grab someone who you feel a connection with, either through gut instinct or because you heard them share their experience and it rings a bell for you.



That Steven has to be your priority.  I completely 100% understand what you are going through, I went through something so similar that it's almost eerie to hear you tell your story.  You love her, I get that but what about loving yourself.  The madness will not stop, it won't.  I'm telling you from an alcoholics point of view that this will not stop until she is either sick and tired of being sick and tired or if she's placed in a rehab facility and that still doesn't guarantee that the madness will stop.



Albert Einstein once described insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.



I'm trying to type this quickly so that you get the response as soon as you can before you go and do something you shouldn't.



I'm sorry that she is suffering, she needs help, AA, in-patient rehab and lots of prayers.  Yes she needs people to stand by her but you need to set boundaries and by perhaps attending Alanon or even some AA meetings yourself (open meetings) you might get a different perspective on your own situation.



I am sending you this message right now so that you can read it and find a meeting NOW, if you want to write me again, please feel free to.  I am here.  But please first things first, get to a meeting where people are going through the exact same thing as you.



Robyn