Alcoholic father

Question
My father who was sober for over 10 years relapsed and has attempted several times to recover.  I have a 5year old son who adores his grandparents.  Since, his relapse it has been very difficult to not allow him to go over visit.  His grandmother plays a big role in his life and it hurts me to tell her that he can't go to her house.  I guess I feel like I'm punishing her.  It upsets me too that she tell me that he is sober today or he was sober yesterday and should be fine today.  She is in total denial and I thought I was over the resentment I had towards her for allowing my brother and I to grow up in that situation but continuing to live in her situation.  Although, I think my son it too young to notice his grandpa is drunk, how could he be effected by being in that environment?



Thank You


Answer
Good for you. I would not allow my child to see his grandfather if he was drunk either. As addicts and alcoholics we must suffer consequences for actions and this is one for you dad. Have you stated it that plainly to him? I'm sure after all these years you are familiar with Al-anon, are you /mom going? Why don't you try to find an AA and al-anon meeting at same place and agree to meet dad  there. Sometimes as addicts we need an extra little push and knowing I was going to meet someone there will do it sometimes. Confront your mom when she says Dad is sober and apparently he is drunk. Call her on it. Hope this has helped. if you need to write back do so.