alcoholic boyfriend

Question
Hi, i think this is going to be a loaded question... my boyfriend is 28, he has a nine year old daughter he rarely sees and i am 4 months along my in my pregnancy with his second child. i know he is an alcoholic, many of the people we work with know he is as do a handful of friends that are willing to admit this. he has had a number of 'past' drug problems and still smokes pot on a daily basis while drinking 12-18 beers a day. sometimes chugging some whiskey down as well at which point he will just pass out. he and i have spoken about him slowing down to perhaps a six pack a day many times, and he does. but it will only last maybe a week. when he runs out of money family will either bring it to him or supply the beer... which i think is disgusting mostly b/c they will complain TO ME about him drinking too much as they enable him!! any way, he has tried to express to me he is getting this out of his system so when the new baby arrives he will settle down, and don't believe him no matter how much i want to or how much i love him. is there any way at all to find him the help he is so resistant to find? i am so scared for him and i don't want our baby to be brought up thinking that is acceptable behavior. is there any hope for him... or for us?


Answer
There is hope for everyone. I remember saying those exact words "I'm just getting it out of my system." Then 15 years later i was still getting it out of my system. How are you guys going to be able to financially care for a child when he spends all his money on drugs and alcohol? Is this a safe relationship? Any desire in your mind t leave while you can? Anyway, help: what i suggest is you contact www.aa.org and look for AA meetings in your area. The call the local number and tell them you need a 12th step call on husband. They wioll ask questions. They will arrange a time to come out and meet with husband and inform him of program, what it has doen for them and how they were once in his shoes. It's free. If they see fit and he is willing they will work  to get him in detox according to his insurance/or lack of. This is a free service. Why doesn't he stop before baby comes and not wait till after? Suggest that to him. AA folks will not contact you after that. it is up to him to contact them. If you need to write back do so.