alcohol and what to do

Question
I read the one lady's questions about her boyfriend and his constant bed wetting, you gave her good advice. I am dealing with a similar situation. My fiance wets the bed 1-2x per month for the past 2-3yrs- due to his drinking. I now believe he is an alcoholic although he works almost 6-7days aw eek 40hrs. It's when he comes home he drinks 6-7 beers and on the weekends it is more. I know that things will always be this way, but Im more afraid of what will happen to him if I leave. We have a 3yr old son 2gether and Ive been raising his 5yr old daughter with him sense she was a baby. Ive left a few times due to his drinking but I always come back, Im afraid of what kind of man or father he'd be without me in his life. Every time I left a (a few days here and there) Id come to find him in complete misery, anger, disgust, and he would binge drink for those 2-3 days. And what happens if I leave, then I don't have custody of my step daughter and she'd be left to see her father that way?.. Plus as far as my son visiting him, well Im not sure if Id like that either becuz if he has 1 too many @ night, he's not coherent, he's not there...

Things aren't too bad most of the time-he's not violent,he's caring, but he does have very noticable mood swings, I don't even pay attention to them any more... I don't know if Im doing the right thing, I feel like in a way I am becuz my kids will see the good in their father if I stay. I love them both more than anything all I want is for them to be happy...   Thanks


Answer
"Most of the time he's not violent" If he is violent at all you need to go. The kids do not need to see this. You are enabling him. It's only till we start suffering consequences that we see the affects of our drinking. He needs to hit rock bottom. As long as you are there to pick up the pieces he is not going to. I would never raise my kids in an active alcoholic home. What he does when you leave is his choice. If you are not attending Al-anon i suggest you start ASAP. It is a group of people who have loved ones who are alcoholics and support one another. Have you thought about calling Alcoholics Anonymous to do a 12th step call? They come out and tell the alcoholic what their life was like, what happened and what it is like with the help of AA. They do not force to go to meetings. They merely inform the person about the program and how it has changed their lives. Now, AA is not the only way to get sober it's just the one with best results. If you choose to do this let me know and I'll locate AA in your area and contact them and inform of what is needed and give them your number. Please write back and let me know if you choose this and I'll will help you.  But you need to leave. Take care of you and the kids. Chances are if he chooses to drink he will allow you to take step-daughter home with you.



http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Go to this site and locate a meeting near go and PLEASE go.



Leigh